Hey yall! Back in April 2015, I wrote a blog about toxic friends. This time I’m going to throw something into the mix.
You have been dating your partner for several months. You had learned that your partner has been cheating on you but you forgive him/her and you move on. However, months later, you found out that your partner is doing the same bullshit again and again. But you still keep going back to that person. Why? What are you trying to gain?
Dealing with the same negative behaviors of your partner makes the issue worse for you. Often times, I hear people give too much of their energy and support to their partner, a friend, or that particular family member only to be screwed multiple times. And then, you ventilate to others about your anger and frustration in how your were treated. Here’s my million dollar question….Should you get mad at that person who treated you like an idiot or should you be mad at yourself for allowing the bad behavior to continue?
I’m sure that you had heard of people saying “Oh give that person another chance…” But how many chances does that person need in order to stop with the bull crap and treat you with respect? Giving one (1) chance may seem reasonable but 5, 6, 7 times…come on, get real. Wishing that the person will change on their own is a fantasy. Not wanting to confront that person is another issue as well. I hear about this when I provide counseling to my clients.
Usually when people allow negative behavior to continue is an indication that there is an underlying issue within themselves. That person has to question their self esteem, their self worth, and self respect. Counseling can help people deal with self esteem issues, and improve their assertiveness. Once a person master their self esteem and assertiveness, this will leave no room for the other person to mistake your kindness over weakness.